Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
