If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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