stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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