You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize