I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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