I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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