Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
