This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
