New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize