Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
