Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
