grandma shit on top of the toilet
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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