I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize