dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
