please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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