I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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