maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
