I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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