I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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