FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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