this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I believe in your delicious
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
