Midget sex pt 2 tonight
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
