It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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