He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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