my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
