don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
