we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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