dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
