So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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