Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
