he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
