I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
