belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
