lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
