K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
