absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I lost the right to judge tonight
When are your genitals available?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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