Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
