Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
