And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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