It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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