hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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