She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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