I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
