Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize