you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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