Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
