I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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