I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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