Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
