Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize