Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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