New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize