I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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