Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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