We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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