Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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