He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize