we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize