Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
