remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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