Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
