you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
