he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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