I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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